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The Apocryphal Chapters (Christmas Story Edition)
In music, there are "b-sides." In movies, there are "deleted scenes." But why can't books have a little bit of fun, too? We present to you "The Apocryphal Chapters," a choice selection of cuts both deep and wide that didn't quite make it into Chad and Dave Read the Bible, Vol. 1: The Christmas Story. "The Apocryphal Chapters" is a PDF file that will be emailed to you within 72 hours of your purchase.
CONTENTS
Introduction - What are Apocryphal Chapters?
1. Casting Call for the Christmas Story
2. Rejected Bible Subheadings
3. All That I Am for All That He Is:
A Contemporary Magnificat Paraphrase
4. The Star
5. You Know You're a "Christmas Christian" If . . .
7. Six Ways to More Authentically Celebrate Christmas
in Your Church
8. So What is All This Business About Rubber Ducks?
9. The Boy Who Lived
10. Merry Mithras: Or Why Christmas is on December 25th
11. Paul's War Against Christmas
12. Juan's Apocalyptic Vision from Inside
the Immigration Detention Center (Translation by Rita Castañon)
13. The War on Xmas
14. Seven Ways Satan is Waging War on Christmas
That Have Nothing to do with Starbucks
15. Is Santa Real?
Chad and Dave Read the Bible, Vol. 1: The Christmas Story
CONTENTS
Introduction to the Series (“Chad and Dave Read the Bible”)
Prelude: Introduction to the Volume - “A Tale of Two Nativities”
Where Do Babies Come From? Genealogies and Version Births (Matthew 1:1-17; Luke 3:23-38)
We’re on a Mission from God: Angels (Matthew 1:18-25, 2:13-23; Luke 1:5-38, 2:8-20)
And This Was Done to Fulfill Scripture (Matthew 1:22-23, 2:5-6, 2:15, 2:18, 2:23)
Kicking Cousins: John the Baptist Prepares the Way (Luke 1:5-25)
Interlude: Five Things You Didn’t Know About John the Baptist
Elizabeth and Zechariah (Luke 1:5-25)
Interlude: Five Christmas Songs That Sit on a Throne of Lies
Extended Interlude Investigation: Is “Mary Did You Know?” a Great or Terrible Christmas Song?
Mary’s Lullaby of Treasonous Revolution: The Magnificat (Luke 1:39-56)
Offertory: Mary’s Liberation Army
No Vacancy: The Inn and the Manger (Luke 2:1-7)
Dirty Santas: The Shepherds (Luke 2:8-20)
Interlude: Top 10 Christmas-Themed Fantasy Football Team Names
Putting the Pagans Back in Christmas: The Magi (Matthew 2:1-12)
Interlude: Five Ways to Recognize Liturgical Christians During (the Season of!) Christmas
Keeping Herod in Christmas: Herod and Slaughter of Innocents (Matthew 2:1-12, 16-18)
Interlude: A Definitive Ranking of Christmas Villains, Catalogued and Annotated in Descending Order of Christmas Villainy
And a Sword Will Pierce Your Heart, Too: Simeon and Anna (Luke 2:21-40)
Holy Family’s Christmas Vacation (Matthew 2:13-15, 19-23)
The Dragon Missing in Your Nativity: Revelation’s Christmas Story (Revelation 12:1-13:1)
The Cross
Invitation: Do Not Be Afraid
Postlude: About the Authors