mARY IN THE WILD WITH DIADEM

The COVID-19 quarantine is responsible for making people do silly things. What else can explain the arrival on the interwebs on July 12, 2020 of renowned New Testament scholar N.T. Wright and DNA-discoverer Francis Collins strumming and singing a duet of "Genesis" - an ode to the marvels of the first book of the Old Testament set to the Beatles' "Yesterday" (including such delightful lines as "Earth and Heaven in a cosmic kiss")?

Well, if N.T. Wright and Francis Collins can channel their inner John and Paul, then why not Chad and Dave, too? We put out a call to our merry band of gawkers to suggest Beatles tunes that could be repurposed with Christmas imagery and the suggestions were rich and varied. Ami Hartsock indulged us by turning "I Saw Her Standing There" into "I Saw Him Lying There," while her father, Ray Dalton, recommended "Maxwell's Silver Hammer." Mike Sobiech, well, he doesn't even get a participation trophy for his suggestion ("The Thong Song").

But the winner was absolutely Tiffany Halfacre's challenge to update "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," which is either about a child's drawing or LSD. Which is also an apt description of John's visions on the island of Patmos as recorded in the book of Revelation, which just so happens to include a hallucinogenic version of the Christmas story (Revelation 12 - look it up). So, without further ado, I present to you, "Mary in the Wild with Diadem":

​Picture a woman in sunbeams and starlight
With moon underneath and god-child inside
Suddenly cries out in labor and anguish
As dragon descends from the sky
Seven-crowned heads with ten horns above
Waiting to take Him away
Look for the girl with the stars on her head
And she’s gone
Mary in the wild with diadem
Mary in the wild is shinin’
Mary in the wild, she’s flyin’
Ah
Struck down by angels and chasing the woman
The serpent spews floods to drown her away
Reddened with rage at his series of losses
He leads the whole world astray
Sprouting two wings like an eagle in flight
Somehow she just gets away
Saved by the earth and its opening mouth
And she’s gone
Mary in the wild with diadem
Mary in the wild is shinin’
Mary in the wild, she’s flyin’
Ah
Picture yourself now attacked by the dragon
The war is now yours, and you don’t have wings
Look for the girl with the moon underneath
The girl with the god-child inside
Mary in the wild with diadem
Mary in the wild is shinin’
Mary in the wild, she’s flyin’
Ah